The Legacy of Unfinished Business

Published in PSYCHOLOGY TODAY. Children with anxiety disorders. Children who self injure. Children who suffer with unexplained symptoms. One of the most challenging aspects of my work with inherited family trauma is the knowledge that the unfinished business you and I don’t heal personally can end up in the laps of our children. It would […]

A Worried Mother’s Guide to Helping Her Troubled Son

Published in ELEPHANT JOURNAL. The other day, a woman asked whether she should allow her son to visit with his father. “His father always promises to spend time with him but never shows up. Should I continue to let my son see him?”  Without question, the answer is yes. A son who is disconnected from […]

How To Tell If You Inherited Emotional Trauma and How To Break the Pattern

Published in MIND BODY GREEN. With new discoveries in epigenetics now making headlines, many of us are asking an important question: What are my children really inheriting? Can my baggage, the unfinished business I don’t deal with, pass on to my kids? Without knowing it, could I be hurting them? To answer this comprehensively, we […]

What Your Relationship with Your Parents Can Tell You About Your Health

Back in the 1950s, researchers at Harvard Medical School asked 21-year-old students a seemingly simple, multiple-choice question. They were asked to describe their relationship with their parents using the following scale: “very close,” “warm and friendly,” “tolerant,” or “strained and cold.” Thirty-five years later, the results were tallied. What the researchers discovered was astounding. Ninety-one […]

Relationship Intelligence: The Key to Picking a Life Partner

Couple celebrating, reaching life goal and love

Published in ELEPHANT JOURNAL. For over two decades, I have worked with men and women from around the world to help them improve their relationships. I have noticed a common thread of unhappiness and disappointment throughout, a mélange of musical partners and dead end relationships—patterns which can be avoided once we understand the hidden dynamics […]

How Your Mother Can Improve Your Love Life

Published in ELEPHANT JOURNAL. When you think of your mother, does your heart open with compassion or tighten with resentment? Do you allow yourself to feel her tenderness and care? The way you take in her love can be similar to how you experience love from a partner. What’s unresolved with your parents doesn’t automatically […]

Our Parents: The Missing Piece to the Relationship Puzzle

Hands Holding Puzzle Pieces on Table

I recently wrote an article about relationships that spawned a lot of discussion on the internet. In the article, I stated that having a good relationship with our same-sexed parent is essential for having a good relationship with a partner. As I read people’s comments, I could feel the pain that this brought up in […]

Symptoms: The Unconscious Language of Illness

Do symptoms restrict your life? Or are they guiding you to expand it? Through symptoms, an illness can communicate to us what’s missing or what needs to be integrated into our lives. Symptoms can mimic or recreate some facet of a trauma or guilt that has never fully resolved, or a step we missed or […]

What Your Feelings about Your Mother Can Tell You about Your Life

Mother and son

Do you feel that you got what you needed from your mother? Do you feel that you get what you need from life? The two can be interrelated. When we feel nurtured and supported by our mothers, we often feel nurtured and supported in life. Conversely, when we feel that our mothers couldn’t give us […]